What is Mentoring?

• Mentoring is the caring, consistent friendship and guidance offered by an adult to a young person. 
• Mentors provide emotional support, encouragement, and friendship to young people to help them achieve their full potential, effectively solve problems, and grow to be successful adults. 
• Mentors and proteges agree to make a commitment to the relationship for a specific time period. In order for the relationship to be beneficial, consistency is key.

Types of Mentoring

School-based or Site-based Mentoring

This type of mentoring involves forming a relationship with one child or several children during school hours or after school hours at the child’s school or at a community center or afterschool programl. Usually, mentors meet with one child or a group of children for one hour each week. The time commitment varies depending on the program, from 4 months to 9 months.

Community-based Mentoring

This type of mentoring involves forming a relationship one on one with a child after school hours or on the weekend, in the community. Mentors and proteges schedule their time together weekly with the approval of the child’s parent or guardian, and usually spend between 2-4 hours together. Common activities include going to the beach, learning new hobbies, participating in sports, etc. The time commitment is usually 12 months.

Young Family Mentoring

This type of mentoring involves forming a relationship with a new parent or parent-to-be. Mentors provide support, guidance and encouragement for the parenting process, and help their proteges to gain confidence in their new role as a parent. Mentors and proteges may meet in a variety of settings, including school, the protégé’s home, or at a mutually agreed upon location, between 1-4 hours each week. The time commitment is 6 months to 12 months depending on the program.

What is a Mentor?

A mentor is an adult friend that takes on the role of a teacher or role model for a child. Mentors spend time with young people encouraging positive choices, promoting high self esteem, encouraging academic achievement and introducing new hobbies and experiences. Mentors and young people may develop their friendship by participating in activities such as going to the park, museums, libraries or participating in sports. Mentors and youth may also develop their relationship at the child’s school, when the mentor visits each week to talk, play games, and assist with schoolwork. Each mentoring program is different in terms of where mentors and youth develop their relationship (school, going out to do fun things, or meeting at a community center) but all mentors develop a relationship with a child reinforcing the values and cultural heritage that parents have instilled. Mentors share the importance of these values with youth through fun activities and exposure to new experiences.

Qualities of successful mentors

• Personal Commitment to be involved with another person for an extended time period – six months to one year at minimum.
Mentors have a genuine desire to be part of other people’s lives, to help them with tough decisions, to see them become the best they can be. They have to be invested in the mentoring relationship over the long haul, to be there long enough to make a difference.

• Respect for individuals and for their abilities and their right to make their own choices in life.
Mentors can’t come with the attitude that their own ways are better or that participants need to be “rescued”. Mentors who convey a sense of respect and equal dignity in the relationship win the trust of their partners, and the privilege of being advisors to them.

• Ability to listen and to accept different points of view.
Most people can find someone who will give advice or express opinions. It’s much harder to find someone who will suspend his or her own judgement and really listen.
Mentors often help simply by listening, asking thoughtful questions, and giving participants an opportunity to explore their own thoughts with a minimum of interference. When people feel accepted, they are more likely to ask for and respond to good ideas.

• Ability to empathize with another person’s struggles.
Good mentors can feel “with” people without feeling pity “for” them. Even without having had the same life experiences, they can empathize with their partners’ feelings and personal problems.

• Ability to see solutions and opportunities as well as barriers.
Good mentors balance a realistic respect for the real and serious problems faced by their partners with optimism about finding equally realistic solutions. They are able to make sense of a seeming jumble of issues and point out sensible alternatives.

• Flexibility and openness.
Good mentors recognize that relationships take time to develop and that communication is a two-way street. They are willing to take time to get to know their partners, to learn new things that are important to their partners (music, styles, and philosophies), and even to be changed by their relationship.

Source: Big Brothers/Big Sisters of America